I had a strange experience when it came time to break up my 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle. At first I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I had spent so much time on this beautiful image and it felt drastic to break it apart. After staring at it and running my hands across it’s smooth surface, I finally dug in and started pulling large chunks away to put in the box. It was wretched at first, but then I started to feel a sort of painful exuberance. I still did not want to destroy it, but I told myself to surrender. I pulled it apart, pushing the pieces off the edge of the table and into the box.
I realized that it wasn’t destroyed, it was merely dismantled. It had simply taken another form that could be rebuilt again. I never thought a jigsaw puzzle would be an analogy for my life. I realized that the reason I had such a hard time dismantling it was because it was something I had control over, something beautiful I built that no one else could move. When so much of my life is uncertain, and mostly beyond my control, that puzzle represented stability and certainty.
But I surrendered and I surrender to this uncertain life, because really, is it ever certain? Even in the best of times we never really know what turns our lives may take. It’s always best to surrender. Force creates friction and hard going. Surrender, flowing in the direction of life’s river, creates ease, and with ease comes creativity, freedom and love. I will become soft, and supple so that I can rebuild my life from the pieces that are still intact, just rearranged. I will form a new image of my life that will be better, more brilliant, and more resilient.
And I will start another puzzle.
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